THE WRITING TREASURE CHEST

How Once upon a time... Progresses

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Text 1 - Teacher Example

Once upon a time there was a crew of evil pirates. Every day they would sail their ship on the ocean. One day they discovered an Island. It was the Island of Doom. They went and explored the island. The pirates didn’t know that when you went on the island you couldn’t escape. They were trapped.

Text 2 - Teacher Example

Once upon a time there was a crew of evil pirates. They lived on an old wooden ship in the vast blue sea. Every day they would sail their ship on the ocean; searching for ships to attack and plunder. One day, when sailing on the ocean, they discovered an Island. It was the Island of Doom. They went and explored the island. The pirates didn’t know that when you went on the island you couldn’t escape. They were trapped.

Text 3 - Teacher Example

The sun reflected on the water as the waves splashed against the large wooden ship. Captain Pete and his crew were headed for land. Nothing would stop them from discovering The Cursed Treasure of The Island of Doom.

They dropped the anchor and rowed to shore. Captain Pete's feet sank into the soft golden sand. Crabs scuttled and waves crashed over the beautiful sea shells. Captain Pete took a deep breath and smelt the sea air. A grin appeared on his face as he scanned the beach. At the top of the beach there were trees, but he was looking for a special tree. Two special trees. Over by the rocks, where the seagulls perched, there were two tilted palm trees. Captain Pete looked at his map.

"That way men!" he ordered as the gang of unruly pirates set of towards the spot that had been marked 'X' on the map.

His crew dug and dug until they heard a 'clunk'. It was the chest.

As he began to open the lid, the goblins attacked. Pete and his crew were forced away from the treasure and into a dark cave. They were trapped.

Suddenly, Captain Pete had an idea. He remembered an old tale his grandfather had told him. He took out a match & scraped it against the wall. The goblins let out a shriek. They were scared of fire.

Captain Pete & his crew ran from the cave and past the goblins. They picked up the chest and scurried back on deck. As the boat left the bay, Captain Pete smiled. He opened the chest but inside was empty. The real treasure was a great adventure.

Text 4 - Teacher Example

A long, jagged scar ran from beneath the patch, down his cheek before disappearing into his thick black beard. A grim smirk appeared, revealing scattered gold fillings among the remaining, decaying teeth. He had finally found it. He pulled the parchment from his coat pocket and pinned it to the trunk of the tree. With his good hand, he unscrolled the map. 

"Right ye filthy maggots!' he growled. "Get to work!"

Two crew members edged forward and plunged their shovels into the sand between the two crossed palm trees. The Captain moved off the beach and into the shade of the forest that lined the sand. He had had his doubts. The months at sea had been unbearable, but now the treasure was within his grasp. He watched as the harsh tropical sun beat down on the crew. Despite their weathered appearance, the digging never ceased: the fate of the last person to disobey an order still fresh in their minds.

Text 5 - Written by Year 2 Student

At sunset Captain Rose’s crew crashed on hard, bumpy rocks out at sea. They all landed on a broken, hard wooden plank, and they didn’t know what was happening. The long wooden plank was heading south and then they landed on a lovely and peaceful island. After a while, Captain Rose and her crew felt better but they had no idea where they were. They were searching for food in the shipwreck but found nothing. Then along came a jungle girl. She was finding some brown coconuts on the green palm trees. Then she saw a brown and wooden ship; she thought it was a coco cycle or a coco glide but it wasn’t any of those things. It was something new.

Captain Rose and her brave crew got out of the wooden boat in fright. They saw a cave girl with sharp teeth and a bone in her hair. Captain Rose and her crew screamed so loud the whole jungle could hear. Captain Rose was about to hit her, but then CoCo said DON’T HURT me.

CoCo took them on her coco cycle. They were zooming really fast with their hair flying backwards with the breeze and the wind. On the way they saw white, fluffy sheep and lambs and blue birds tweeting with delight. They were finally home. Coco’s tree house was 100 feet tall and 50 storeys. The crew was amazed. CoCo let them look around the tree house. They saw fireflies as lamps and lights and wood trunks as tables and feathers as pencils and leaves as paper. In the corner there were straw and leaves as a bed and she had a golden ship with coconuts too.

They had a coconut party where they had to cover the place with coconuts. After an hour the place was covered in coconut juice. The juice was clear white and the crew got wet too. CoCo told them to stay there while she was going to hunt some food for dinner. CoCo went out in the dark night with her firefly flashlight. She saw a clean white chicken so she was going to get it. She was running wild like a crazy bull and stuck out her fangs, but then suddenly she got stuck in a trap. Captain Pickle and his army came marching out of the bushes. CoCo was really crazy when she got caught. The cage had iron bars and they were very hard. Captain Rose’s crew were wondering when CoCo was going to be back. While Captain Rose was looking at the bedrooms, Jack with the red banana cap was exiting the treehouse with his own flashlight.

Jack was going out in the deep dark forest and saw a shadow near a campsite. He also heard whispering. He was scared, so he hid behind the dark green bush and poked out of the bush and saw CoCo in a cage with iron bars. He could see how crazy she was in that cage and he was wandering if Pickles was actually alive. Little mice were hiding in the same bush as Jack was and they were growling at Captain while Jack was just staring at crazy CoCo. Then one of the mice Squeaked then they all started to CHARGE IN and eat Captain Pickle. Squeaker caught the key and unlocked CoCo. CoCo thought Jack saved her and with a smile on her face Jack’s cheeks went red. Then they both walked back to the treehouse and Captain Rose asked what’s for dinner? Then CoCo had a funny grin.

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BELGRE EDUCATION PTY LTD

  • Home
  • The Theory
    • Children Want to Write
    • Background
    • Rationale
    • Effective Writing Practice
    • Methodology
  • Teacher Tools
    • Student Development
    • Programming
    • The Writing Lesson
    • Self-Monitoring Skills
    • Basic Reviewing
    • Spelling & Handwriting
    • Drawing for Writing
  • Fluency
  • Developing Writing
    • Overview
    • The Sentence
    • The Recount Story
    • The Story Outline
    • Once Upon a Time...
  • Exploring Writing
    • Overview
    • Microscope Sentences
    • Prepositional Poetry
    • Descriptive Sentence
    • Sensory Writing
    • Show, Don't Tell
    • Vocabulary Development
  • Further Techniques
    • Overview
    • Leads
    • Tension
    • Endings
    • Pacing
    • Dialogue
    • Rewriting
  • Downloads
    • Simple Strategies: Writing that Works
  • References