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Show, don't Tell

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< Sensory Writing
The purpose of the Show, don’t Tell lesson is developing the student’s ability to write descriptively. Children are challenged to expand a word into a sentence or a sentence into a short paragraph, but they are not allowed to use certain words from the original sentence. They must think of ways to describe what is happening so that the reader can draw their own conclusions. They are leaving clues for the reader to solve.

Show, Don't Tell

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"Don't give them 4, give them 2 + 2."
Ernst Lubitsch - Director

Aim

Show, Don't Tell is an important strategy because it draws readers into the text. It makes the reader use their connections to predict what they think the text is about or it helps them visualise a scene with more clarity. This strategy forces the audience to use their reading strategies which makes them more engaged in the text.

This strategy shows children how to use the descriptive language they have been using and makes it easier to transfer this into their everyday writing or revision processes.
Personal note: This is the strategy that really ties everything together. It can be tempting to jump right in and just develop this skill; however, this skill works better with an understanding of how to use and manipulate language: explore language to help children effectively apply this strategy.

Showing Vs Telling

Telling: is short and efficient. It lets the reader know the facts but lack emotional connection. It feels like a recount of events. It sounds like spoken text written down.

​
Tell when...
  • transitioning between scenes: travel etc
  • background is needed, but not important to the message
  • to pass the time - should skip boring scenes: meals, preparing to leave or any everday scences that don't add to the story​
Showing: is slow-paced and allows the reader to connect with the scene through emotion or experience. It relies on the senses to create rich detail. It helps the reader feel like they are a part of the experience.

Show when...
  • it is a time of drama or conflict
  • to bring the reader into a scene through the setting
  • if the scene is pivotal to the message in your story
  • to emotionally connect with the reader
When writing, there's a place for telling and a time for showing. It is important to learn the difference about how and when to use the different formats. Finding the balance is pivotal; however, the only way to do this is through practice. Explore pacing for further insight about these techniques. 
Evaluating the impact of the language used is important. When deconstructing texts, make sure evidence is found to support what is being shown and discuss how effective it is. Therefore, when it comes to their own texts, children can discuss what they did and why they did it.

Deconstruction

Looking at samples that show and comparing them with examples that tell, helps make the benefits of this strategy clear to students. It's almost a before and after comparison. Finding the content that has been shown, and collecting the evidence to support it is important: children need to understand that they 'things' they are showing are clearly evident to the reader and they can begin that understanding by seeing how other texts are composed.

Example:
'A sound of torture pierced my ears. I shot out of the covers. My blood ran cold. The hairs at the back of my neck stood straight. My heart pounding against my chest. Breathless. I peered out of the paint chipped window; it was still pitch black. The shriek ran through me over and over again like a broken record player. It sounded like a petrified woman, fighting for her life. It was familiar, like it had been trailing me all this time.'

What is the text about? 

The text is about someone being woken up to a noise that makes them scared.
What is the setting? How do we know?
The text is set in a bedroom at night because it was pitch black and they took off their covers.

How is the character feeling? How do we know?
The character is scared - torturous sound, blood ran cold, hairs on neck stood straight, heart pounding, breathless

One of the best benefits of the deconstruction is finding examples of language that students themselves can use in their own writing.

Pre-Writing

For optimum results with this strategy, prewriting is imperative. To begin with, children use guiding questions to brainstorm ideas around the topic. The students use the skills they have developed through sensory writing to use environmental clues to lead the reader where they want to take them. Brainstorming vocabulary words around the topic will help children to write a more detailed paragraph. Drawing can be a useful tool to allow students to explore their thoughts.

Example: The boat sailed into the storm.

What can you see/hear/feel during a storm?
What would the sea and sky be like during a storm?
How would a crew react during a storm?

These questions could be answered verbally, written down or drawn. A combination should be encouraged.
​
Depending on the needs of the students. The planning can be done as a whole class, with peers or individually.

10 Tips to Help Students Show:

  1. Connect, visualise and question.
  2. Explore the physical setting
  3. Join your character's appearance to the setting.
  4. Use your character's movement, appearance to tell the reader about them and the setting.
  5. Use specific words: precise nouns and verbs that elicit connotations.
  6. Puncutate the description with action.
  7. Use dialogue with effective attribution and beats. 
  8. Look for opportunites to exploit cause and effect.
  9. Don't rush through the scene.
  10. Remember the basics: show people, places, weather conditions and emotions.

Writing

When strategies are new, it is important we build up the skills slowly to ensure that children have a solid understanding. Show, Don't Tell is the strategy that is used the most: it is always in play when it comes to writing longer texts. Therefore, it is important that understanding of how to apply and use the strategy is built up from the sentence to the paragraph. For prompt ideas, it is best that students write about setting (time of day, weather, place) or emotions as they are the easiest concepts to show. It could also be used to show information about a character. Below are some ideas on how to introduce and build the skills of Show, Don't Tell.

One Word
This strategy involves having just one word as a prompt. Students are required to write a sentence or series of sentences (related or unrelated) to show this word. 

Two Words
Children are given two words and must create a sentence about the two words; however, the words cannot be used in the sentence. Children will need to learn to show the reader what is happening; by using clues, the reader should be able to determine what the sentence is about.

Sentences
Children attempt to rewrite a telling sentence as a paragraph. Certain words from the original sentence are not allowed to be used; therefore, children need to think creatively about how they construct meaning for their audience. This is great to develop the skill of pacing. Expanding a simple sentence into a paragraph of text that explores the event more is an important step for the story-telling moments that arise. This means that children can use this strategy to revise their work.

Scenarios
Show, don’t Tell Scenarios provide children with a prewritten paragraph. As a class the text can be analysed to discuss where improvements could be made. Using the skills learnt in the previous steps, the students rewrite the scenario that was provided.

SUNNY/PARK
Golden rays shone through the leafy trees as children ran around playing on the swings. 

ONE SUMMER MORNING, I WENT TO THE BEACH
The water rippled as the first light echoed and its dazzling colours shimmered. Silky sand flows through my toes and whitewash crashes on the seashore. Seaweed thrashes, wrestling within the crystal depths of the ocean. Seagulls strike the glass like sea as the ocean is slowly waking. seashells glimmer, looking like stars in a clear sky, containing life and the beauty of nature.

THE BOAT SAILED INTO THE STORM.
The waves were crashing over the top of the determined crew. “Hoist the sails!” barked the captain. Thunder roared. Lightning struck a tall mast close to the sail. Before the crew could get under cover it was pouring. Lightning lit the dark grey sky. Then lightning struck the deck and the crew scrambled overboard. The deck was on fire. The crew was stuck in the middle of the ocean with only the dim moonlight to guide them.

Self-Monitoring

Self-monitoring focuses on the secretarial writing skills we want the students to have ownership over. 

Is there punctuation?
Does it make sense?
Have I underlined words I'm unsure of or think are spelt incorrectly?
Can others read my work?


By introducing these goals and following it up with reviewing strategies, children, from the beginning, become responsible for the editing of their own work. This is an important step in building successful writers. Depending on the age group, it could be beneficial to select just one goal on which to focus; however, all goals are critical to the foundation of continued writing success and it is recommended that both are set for each task. Different goals should be the focus for different students.

​With this in mind, we can develop the self-monitoring skills of children at the same time as their deeper understanding of language.

Feedback

Feedback for this strategy should always be evaluative and reflective. It is about weighing up the effectiveness and impact of the strategy. It could involve looking at word selection or the use of show, don't tell (underuse or overuse). 
Remember, the type of feedback you give will depend on the level of the class. ​

Where to Next?

Show, Don't Tell is a powerful and rewarding strategy for all children to see themselves as writers. It transforms writing almost instantaneously.

Therefore, the next step would be how to balance show don't tell with a character within a scene. This strategy should become interwoven in all writing endeavours; however, the trick is for it to go unnoticed to the reader. It can't come across as forced, but as a natural flow.

The teaching focus during these lessons should be on strong powerful verbs that create images in the readers head as well as on sensory writing. Children should always be encouraged to explore and be creative to help them achieve their intentions. Once children understand Show, don’t Tell, they can be prompted to add this in their own regular writing tasks.
< Sensory Writing

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  • Home
  • The Theory
    • Children Want to Write
    • Background
    • Rationale
    • Effective Writing Practice
    • Methodology
  • Teacher Tools
    • Student Development
    • Programming
    • The Writing Lesson
    • Self-Monitoring Skills
    • Basic Reviewing
    • Spelling & Handwriting
    • Drawing for Writing
  • Fluency
  • Developing Writing
    • Overview
    • The Sentence
    • The Recount Story
    • The Story Outline
    • Once Upon a Time...
  • Exploring Writing
    • Overview
    • Microscope Sentences
    • Prepositional Poetry
    • Descriptive Sentence
    • Sensory Writing
    • Show, Don't Tell
    • Vocabulary Development
  • Further Techniques
    • Overview
    • Leads
    • Tension
    • Endings
    • Pacing
    • Dialogue
    • Rewriting
  • Downloads
    • Simple Strategies: Writing that Works
  • References